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Tales From The Dressing Room

Yes, my friends, after going to Splash Country the other day I actually got inspired to go swimsuit shopping. It's kinda funny how spending a day looking at other women with unfortunate bodies, such as myself, could inspire me to do the one thing I hate most in this world. I don't really get it either; but, for some reason I thought it was a good idea to go skirtini shopping.

So yesterday ThiThi, Kaylea and I hit the Mall and began the torture. Well, I was being tortured; I believe ThiThi and Kaylea went along for the amusement of it all.

Here are just a few of the incidents and comments that came from inside our dressing room:

  • After trying on a loser of a suit I was removing the bottoms and realized the hygienic liner was stuck to my - uh - upper inner thigh (if you get the picture). I tried to gently peel it off but found, though it wouldn't stick to the crotch of the bathing suit any longer, it had appeared to have permanently affixed itself to me. What was I to do but to give it one quick pull and presto, I gave myself a wax job, also. (I always knew there was a reason I hadn't gone to see the little Vietnamese ladies about a "wass job."

  • ThiThi critiquing one suit, "So what flavor of muffin is that?"

  • Me, while looking at my ass in a skirtini in a 3-way mirror, "There must be something wrong with this suit. The back is shorter than the front!" (Wouldn't have anything to do with the hump and bump giving the skirt a little lift on the backside, ya think?)

  • ThiThi to the sales associate that asked if we had a preference on dressing rooms, "We just need a big one. There will be a lot of wrastling going on in there."

  • Me, while browsing the Miracle Suits, "For some reason I just don't think that one will be quite 'Miraculous' enough for me."

  • Me, "Those draws ain't quite deep enough. You know I like me some deep'ins!"

  • ThiThi to me after a full day of fun, "You know this is the worst time of the month for you to be doing this, don't you?"

And finally, the award for Funniest Comment of the Day goes to................................KAYLEA! She, so innocently said, "Ya know, Aunt Missy, I think that tag that says, 'Look 10 lbs slimmer in 10 seconds' is just a lie." Out of the mouths of babes. What can I say?

Oh, and for those of you wondering if I walked away from the Mall with a suit. Well, yes, I did. Here is the one I got. Unfortunately, I have a little more fluff than the invisi-model the company used for the picture. But, overall, it covered what needed to be covered and wasn't too appauling.

So, see all you gals and Splash Country this summer!

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It's Off To Camp We Go!

I can't wait. We are heading to the mountains this weekend to relax and commune with nature. Now this is a totally different kind of camping than what Kaylea and I were doing with my Mom and JimBob a few weeks back. There will be no campers with air conditioning or TVs with cable on this trip - OH HELL NO!!!!. We are going to Elkmont. For those of you that aren't local, Elkmont is a campground in the National Park and there is NO electric or running water on the sites. As a matter of fact, they don't even have bath houses to get all of your unmentionables, mentionable again.

So these kinds of camping trips require a lot of planning. The list making and shoping begins well in advance. So far, ThiThi and I have made one Wally run, but there will be at least one more - heck maybe two more - before Friday.

Now, here are just a few of the things that we bring along for a weekend in the woods.
  • Ceiling fan for the tent - Hey, it's gonna be hot AND I can't sleep if I'm hot AND I get grumpy(er) when I can't sleep AND if I get grumpy, a good time will be had by none. That's why Bub didn't blink at the well invested $20 for a ceiling fan for the tent.
  • Extra batteries - For the ceiling fan, of course.
  • Broom Handle - aka Bear Whackin' Stick. This is a story in itself. Read here.
  • Kaylea's Bike - so she can entertain herself and won't drive all of us crazy.
  • Margerator - I guess if I run out of batteries for my ceiling fan, I will just drink enough Margaritas to help me sleep. Ha Ha and you thought we were roughing it.
  • Feminine Cleansing Cloths - I don't think I really need to explain this one; especially since I have already told you there are no bath houses, hhhhhmmmmmmmmmm. And besides, Wet Ones really stink!
  • Baby Powder - I am going to try out RimaRama's trick.
  • Baseball Caps - In case RimaRama's trick doesn't work.
  • Our NEW lawn chairs - For kicking back and relaxing. Oh, and here's a shoutout to the ass holes that stole our old lawn chairs off the front porch. Heck, I would have let you borrow them; because I'm nice and all that. But now, you have just ticked me off. Stealing lawn chairs?????? I'm confused, could you not do any better?????? Ya know we had a garden hose out front, too????? (Sorry, I needed to get that off my chest.)

So, if anyone wants to come on up and join us for Margaritas and S'mores on Saturday night, just come on. If you pass out, I ain't sharing my ceiling fan, though.

Camp Fire

Prayers, Again

We received a phone call Thursday afternoon from our Mom telling us that her sister, Auntie H, had collapsed of a heart attack. Since then, we have been waiting by the phone for instructions on when to leave to travel north. My Aunt has a bad heart and has had several surgeries in the past. This time it doesn't appear that a surgery is going to fix things, though. When she collapsed Thursday, CPR was started immediately then the Paramedics hit her with the paddles three times before transporting her to the hospital. She is currently attached to a breathing machine and it non-responsive to all of the brain wave tests. My Uncle and cousins were to meet with the Doctor this morning for him to advise them on how to proceed. Auntie H. has a living will; however, there is a MI state law that requires the family to wait for a certain amount of time before disconnecting life support. At this point, we do not know when the life support will be disconnected or how long Auntie H will survive without it. So, we are just waiting.

This is all too scary for me. Auntie H isn't that much older than my mom or Bub's parents. I try real hard not to think about the reality that they won't be with us forever. The logical part of me knows that all of us will pass on and we have no control over when this will happen. But the non-logical part of me hopes we can stay together on this earth forever.

I am feeling comforted right now by knowing that Auntie H will soon be in a better place, if she isn't already. She will be filled with love and happiness and all of her pain will go away. I should not wish for her to stay here with me; that is selfish. I need to find joy in the fact that she is going to be reunited with all of her loved ones that have passed before her. She will be able to hug Papaw, Mamaw, Uncle John, Aunt Bonnie, Granny, Pop, Carol, Frank and all the other people that meant so much to her throughout her life.

I guess the prayer that I would ask all of you to make, would be one for strength and comfort for Uncle C, Thom and Beth, Bindy and Bob, Dawn and Scott, Will and Casey, Dylan and Laura, Mom and Aunt Shash, and the rest of us that love Auntie H.

Disappointment At Savelli's

Friday evening our family (Memommy, Mr. Jimmy, Auntie M., Mr. Bob, Bub, Kaylea and I) went out for what we thought was going to be a nice dinner at one of our favorite little Italian restaurants. We all had eaten at Savelli's in the past and it was the first choice when we planned our outing. As a matter of fact, Memommy had been looking forward to going there for over a week. You see, Memommy and Mr. Jimmy are from Macon and they don't have the opportunity to visit Savelli's like the rest of us "locals" do.

Well, all I can say is we did not have a good experience Friday evening, and the manner in which our complaints were handled will most likely prevent us from returning to the restaurant. If you are familiar with Savelli's, then you know it is very intimate and it can tend to get very crowded. Of course, expect this on a Friday evening; therefore, we made reservations for our party of 7.

When we arrived, we were seated immediately and our drink orders were taken. Then we sat for quite a while before we were approached again. By this time everyone was very hungry and ready to order. Unfortunate for us though, our waiter only wanted to take our appetizer order. This was apparent by the way he rushed away from the table as soon as we ordered the antipasto salad and fried cheese. We sat and waited for him to return and take our meal order, but he didn't return. Finally, our appetizers were brought to the table by a young lady (not our waiter), and we dove into them like a swarm of locust. The fried cheese was very good, but the antipasto salad was lacking a little, in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, the meats and provolone, along with the peppers and olives were delicious, but the lettuce looked old and had started to turn brown around the edges. It had the appearance of lettuce that had been chopped for a day or so and had been stored in the refrigerator.

After we finished our appetizers we continued to sit and wait for our meal order to be taken. Finally, our waiter returned to the table to take the orders. Guess what we did after that? You guessed it; sat and sat and sat and waited for our meals to be prepared. Unfortunately, things just careened downhill from this point forward. When our meals finally arrived - minus Mr. Jimmy's (the pizza cooks were backed up and his was going to take about 7 minute longer - which was actually about 10 min, but who's counting) - there were a few problems. First Mr. Bob's Chicken Parmesan was burnt and he ordered Angel Hair pasta and received spaghetti. All things we would deal with; however, we could not deal with what we discovered next. After Memommy, Auntie M and I doused our meals with Parmesan Cheese we smelled a horrific odor that resembled something along the lines of a men's locker room and dirty sweaty socks. I picked up the shaker of Parmesan Cheese and took a big whiff and about fell out of my chair. Let's just say, I found the originating point of the odor. It smelled more like Limburger Cheese instead of Parmesan Cheese. We immediately flagged our waiter and told him of the problem and that we now had three meals that were covered in rancid cheese, to which his only action was to remove the cheese shaker from the table and walk into the kitchen. After waiting on a few tables he returned and removed our plates and then waited on a few more tables. Then finally, he returned again and asked us what we wanted to replace our original orders. We told him we wanted the same meals, just not with rotten cheese this time.

When our meals were finally brought back to the table (Auntie M's about 5 minutes after Memommy's and mine) I began to eat, being careful to stay away from the cheese shaker. Imagine my shock when I put the first bite of a stuffed shell into my mouth and tasted spoiled ricotta cheese. I promptly spit it out and gave up on eating Italian for the evening. For some odd reason I had lost my appetite.

As of yet, there has been no response to our complaint. The waiter brought the bill, with no accommodation for the poor service and poor food quality we received. When Auntie M called back to the restaurant she was told they were too busy to talk to her and she would have to call back on Saturday. We are still waiting for an apology, at the very least! Unfortunately, regardless of how, or if, they resolve this matter, I don't think I will be returning. So so sad! I guess I will have to get my Italian fix at Altruda's from now on.


Each year when getting Kaylea ready to start back to school, I just shake my head in wonder at the rules that have been set forth by the Sevier County Schools. The one that really gets me is the requirement of all students to carry clear or mesh backpacks to school. I know many of you might think that this is a good rule because it prevents students from carrying drugs, weapons, and all other types of harmful things to school. Well, this is my beef with the rule.

One of all (as Kaylea would say), is this rule necessary in Primary school? I haven't heard of too many kindergartners packin' heat.

Second, why does the rule fly out the window if the parents choose to buy their little kindergartners the cute canvas bookbag that is sold by the parent support group? Does the school treat their canvas bags with some type of special agent that will dissolve the bookbag if anything harmful were to be carried in it? I think not!

Third, if the school is trying to remain safe and secure, why aren't the students required to carry acrylic instrument cases. If you ask me, little Johnny could get Daddy's shotgun into his trombone case a whole lot easier than into his backpack. I'm just sayin'.

Fourth, why are students allowed to bring their lunch to school? I'm quite sure all sorts of weapons could be concealed inside a Hannah Montana lunchbox.

I guess my gripe is the inconsistency of the policy. If the school system wants to protect our children, which they should, then they need to examine all of their policies and evaluate all possibilities. Make changes that will really have an affect on the behavior they are trying to deter. Until such time comes, I guess I will just be leery of all the lunchbox totin' - trombone playin' - bookbag carryin' kindergarteners.

Rough Week

As I have written before, I have issues. Well, this week has been a rough one for me. You see, brilliant me let my prescription for Cymbalta run out. Oh, I don't mean the one little bottle of "keep Momma happy and pain-free pills" I get each month; oh no - the entire prescription. I noticed last week while I was in Macon that I had enough medication to make it through until I got home, but then I would have to call in a refill. Then, I looked closely at the bottle and noticed that I didn't have anymore refills. I remained hopeful that once I got home I would be able to get in to see the Doctor quickly; therefore, averting any crisis that might me lurking around the corner. Well, with the excitement and craziness of returning home and planning/preparing for the in-laws anniversary party, I forgot to call the doctor's office on Friday. I didn't panic, yet, because I had enough medication to last through Saturday and I figured a call to the doctor on Monday would take care of everything. Well, guess what? I was wrong, again. When I called the doctor on Monday, I was informed that they couldn't get me in until Thursday (today).

I have to be honest, I was a little concerned about waiting that long to get the prescription refilled - not because I thought I would end up collapsing in a heap in the living floor - but basically because I know you are not suppose to quit any type of anti-depressant cold turkey. Well, since the doctor's office obviously wasn't concerned about this, I convinced myself that it must be ok.

Today all I can say is that probably the doctor's office should re-prioritize working in patients that need a prescription refill. I have had a terrible week. And of course it is the same stuff I went through before being prescribed the Cymbalta. I have had absolutely NO energy and my head has felt totally disconnected from my body. I haven't been able to concentrate or even think straight which has culminated in a splitting headache for the past two days. With all of this going on, I haven't wanted to do anything other than sleep, which means I have stayed on the couch or in bed. Now this morning I awoke with severe pain in my back, hips and legs; oh and the headache has yet to subside.

All I can say is come on 2:00, so I can get my medicine back. And to think, I had begun to think that I didn't really need that stuff anymore. Well, I have changed my mind on that one.

Drugs are good; drugs are my friend.

Yes, I am alive...

I know that it has been awhile since I last posted anything, but I just haven't had the time. Somehow, life has gotten in the way:)

Last week, Kaylea was attending art camp in the morning and then we had VBS in the evening. I worked in the kitchen at VBS and when we got home, I was just too tired to do anything. Then Sunday, Kaylea and I went to Macon, GA, to meet up with ThiThi and visit with Memommy and Mr. Jimmy. While we were in GA, mom had a Taste of Home party (yea MOM!) and we did some shopping(yea MOM, again!). Finally, we drove home yesterday (Thursday) and now I am preparing for Barry's parents 40th wedding anniversary party (yea Pappy and Grammy!)

Maybe next week will get back to normal. I hope so, anyway, because I need some downtime so I can catch my breath. WHEW.

Thank you to all my loyal followers. I see you guys haven't given up on me. That is a great feeling!

If your going to do Dollywood... must have the following things:

  1. One Gold Season Pass per family
  2. A refillable mug for each member of the family

We went to Dollywood today and it became clear to me that those two things were the best deals Dollywood is offering. The reason I say this is, the Gold Season Pass saves you from having to pay for parking, PLUS it saves you 20% on ALL purchases inside the park. We love getting a 20% discount on all of our food and drinks, plus it is nice getting that same discount in all of the shops. Did you know that Dolly's Closet has a wide selection of Vera Bradley items? With the Gold Pass they are always 20% cheaper than anywhere else. Also, did you know that The Emporium is now carrying Life Is Good merchandise? These items, which are hard to find on sale at other shops, are always discounted for Gold Pass holders, as well.

Now, as for the refillable mugs, yes, they are a little on the expensive side when you first purchase them (but again, save 20% with your Gold Pass). The good thing is you can reuse those mugs year after year. Dollywood doesn't have a policy that the mugs are only good for one season. We are still using mugs from 4 years ago. I don't know about you, but I think we have definitely gotten our moneys worth out of them. Also, you can ask that your mug be filled with water and there is no charge - at all. Today, we were thirsty and got an Icee in one mug and ice water in the other and it only cost, $1.71. Sure beats, the menu prices of $3.79 for an Icee (in a non-refillable cup) and $2.89 for a bottled water. See what I mean - what a bargain!

We also found a bargain for lunch. At Victoria's Parlor they have a family special on Sundays; you get a large pizza, 1 bowl of salad, 4 breadsticks, and 4 large drinks for $28.99. This was so much food. And honestly, I don't know of any other amusement park where you can feed a family of 4 for a little over $23 (remember, the 20% Gold Pass savings).

With the economy in the tank the way it is, I think a lot of families are opting not to go on vacation this year. They just don't feel they can afford the gas, hotel and entertainment. I know in our house, we are making some adjustments too, as a result of the rising gas prices. But it was nice to see that we could go to Dollywood today and it didn't break the bank. A good time was had by all; and we ate until we were stuffed and walked away leaving food behind that we couldn't finish (we were nice and offered our untouched 5 pieces of pizza, still in the box, to a large family sitting behind us).

We will definitely go back again before the summer is over and, of course, we will have to attend the Harvest Celebration and Smokey Mountain Christmas. Sometimes I forget how lucky we are to have Dollywood as a neighbor. Today, however, I was reminded of what a good neighbor it is.

BUNCO Night - Whoopee!

Tonight's Bunco game is going to be a little different that usual. Normally, one person will host the game at their home and they are responsible for providing the food and drinks. Unfortunately, this was our friend E's month to host the soiree and, for obvious reasons, she is not really in the hostess frame of mind. So, tonight we are helping her out and we are doing a pot-luck Bunco. Everyone is suppose to bring a yummy dish to share but I have had a few reservations about this plan since it was suggested. As with all groups, we have a few people that will try to do the easiest, quickest and cheapest thing, which usually means showing up with a bag of chips and a jar of salsa. Well, needless to say, that is not how my brain works. I have worried that we won't have a meat or main course of any type. Or, we won't have enough food to feed our group of 12. Or, we will only have desserts, chips and drinks. For these reasons, I am probably doing more than my fair share, just to make sure that we have enough to make a meal. After all, like many of the other girls, I wait to eat my dinner at the game, and the last thing I want is to leave hungry at the end of the evening.

So, my contribution to tonight's meal is Mini-BBQ Sandwiches and Georgia Cracker Salad. And yes, my contribution is quick and easy, but unfortunately for me, not too cheap. Oh well, that is the price I am willing to pay for convenience.

Here are my recipes:

Missy's Mini BBQ Sandwiches Makes 60 sandwiches

4 pkg frozen Parker House Yeast Rolls (like Sister Schubert)
2-18 oz containers of Lloyd's Original BBQ Pork
BBQ Sauce (your favorite brand)

Heat the BBQ pork in a pan on the stove top. Add additional BBQ sauce if you want your meat a little juicier.

Bake the rolls according to package directions.

When the rolls are done, remove them from the aluminum pan and split. Fill with the BBQ and then return them to the pan. Cover with foil until time to serve.

(My sister made these for a party and they were delicious. Super easy and super fast!)

Georgia Cracker Salad

I posted this recipe earlier, so I won't bother retyping it - just click the link if you didn't get it the first time (Anna). Tongue Out


My word for today is "friends". I have crossed paths with many today and each one has touched my heart in a different way.

First, I was finally able to meet (face to face) my friend Angie and her handsome son, Edison, and her adorable daughter, Caroline. Angie and I have been Blogging Buddies for a few months now. I can't really remember how we found each other, but we did. It didn't take long to realize that we lived in the same small town. We both have been on the look-out for each other for awhile now, but amazingly enough hadn't managed to bump into each other. Well, today I was picking up Kaylea from Arts and Craft camp (at Angie's church - where she also works) and I decided to go upstairs and introduce myself. It was nice to finally meet the person behind the words and pictures that I look at daily. Hopefully, we will see each other again very soon and very often.

Second, I went to a funeral this evening to support my friend, E. Her father passed away very unexpectedly. He was in his 80's and lived with E. She found him Saturday morning sitting in his recliner, but he had already passed. E said that she feels he went quickly and peacefully and she is getting comfort in him knowing that he wasn't alone. Nonetheless, this was a very hard thing to watch a friend go through. My heart goes out to E because she doesn't have any other family to speak of. She has never been married; therefore, we, her friends, are her support system.

Lastly, at the funeral I was able to see a lot of friends I have made through my years as a substitute teacher. You see, E is a teacher from Kaylea's old school and a lot of faculty members were there to support E, as well. It was a little strange for me being the only "non-staff' member standing in our large group. The Principal, Assistant Principal, Secretaries, Teachers and Assistants were all there and I felt like I actually fit in. Even though I have had my difficulties in accepting many things that have happened to me at that school; I really felt like they were a family, of sorts, to me.

So, whether you are making new friends, offering support and love to existing friends or just laughing and sharing stories with old friends, your life is a happier place because they are in it.